REINVENTING MYSELF

It is so very important in life to know your own self.  Lived an unplanned life up till now.  Education, job,marriage, children. Realizing that this will never end till i decide to press a pause button for myself.  But then i am a duty bound woman.  Still i feel that i should think about my life too.

So where do i start from?  First learn to relax.  Yes Physically and emotionally too.  Having done my fundamental duties towards my family i need to relax now to search myself.  A forgotten me!!

I am intelligent.  I am beautiful.  I am inspiring.  I am healthy.  I am strong.  I am devotional.  I am spiritual.  And above all i love this life.  Yes this was me for sure few years back.  Then where do i got lost yar??

Anyways, now that i have remembered myself, i think i will start this new journey of reinventing myself from today itself..





    

Give me a break...

I am desperate to hear something positive happening in our country. Open a newspaper or switch on a news channel, what do we find? Price rise, Food grains wasted, Misappropriation of public money, Sexual harassment, Terrorism, Mismanagement and unrest everywhere. And our politicians busy playing dirty games. Where do we go from here!?

The world looks at India as a growing super power. No doubt we do have a potential to become one. But what are we doing with ourselves? Corruption has reached its peak. So much so that common man doesn't find it odd to give and take bribe. This is really a hopeless situation we all are in.

Worse to those, who are still not able to part with their good values. Because there is no value for good values in this country. You are looked at as a weak person. There is no accountability for those who do wrong things and there is no appreciation for those who do right things. Its frustrating and demotivating to those few who still want to continue doing good.

Whenever this negativity overcomes me, I assure myself that God has his own ways to put everything in place. Nature has its own laws. And no one is above nature. However mighty one may be.

Oh God, please help...we really need to be lead from darkness into light now.

My Monsoon Hungama

I planned to be on a fortnights leave to chill myself in the monsoon season. Just to be at home doing nothing. Reading, listening to favorite numbers, doing some beauty regime and eating whatever whenever I feel so. Luckily Sagar, my lad is at home. He has taken a break from his this first job in a multinational company. A job which was killing my young intelligent handsome son emotionally and morally. I could not bear to see him with his down spirits every evening though he was trying to put a brave front. One Sunday I sat to talk it out with him. Realized that the situation was a typical of Indian office type. Less work and more politics. My lad's creative mind was taking a battering every single day. His inability to deal with politically driven minds was the reason of his lost enthusiasm. We decided to call it off. A post graduation in human resource is not meant to be treated at this standard. He has made good use of his holidays by answering another competitive national level exam and now trying to get a good sombre job. I pray God to put him in a good environment wherein he can utilize his skills.

But now that we are together we are spending some good time together. My darling daughter Apu( Apoorva) is also very happy to see her Moma at home when she leaves the house for university and also when she comes back home tired. Hubby dear is relaxed too. Actually i love my bank job. But at times i just need to be free from those strict to and fro timings. I need to sing and laugh loudly. And I need to think freely. This type of break is a refresher for me. It also acts as a bonding time with my kidos, hubby and my parents.

Just from day one of my holiday it has started raining very heavily. Its a real pleasure to be at home this time of the year. No getting wet and dirty. Only the luxury to spend time in the warmth of your family and home.

Good night guys...Wish you all too a happy monsoon hungama...

A visit to my heaven

I am just back after a visit to my parents. I am very fortunate to live close to my parents house. In fact I live in this beautiful hill top bungalow build on a part of land gifted to me by my parents. Having got married at a very young age my mother wanted me to stay close to her so that she could help me in my new married life. Now, almost 26 years later we are just more then thankful to god for the wisdom he made us act upon at that time. Both my parents were of very great help in bringing up of Sagar and Apoorva. Now its my pleasure to be of some help to them in their old age.

Actually Aai and Pappa are both very independent peoples. They love their independence so much that they don't want to shift themselves anywhere else in any condition. They love their home build with great care and hardship. I have a younger brother Ramakrishna (we call him Avdhoot) who is shifted to Mumbai alongwith my sis-in-law Aparna for better prospects. I miss them hugely and also live in a hope that they will come back to live with us and make our family complete.

Atleast once a week spend some quality time with my parents. Now that I am just back after a chat with them I feel so relaxed and refreshed. There was a time in my teens when I disagreed with them on every issue. Today I have so much talk to them and we agree so much on every issue. May it be a family issue or a social one. We just sit and talk and I come back home surprised about the turn life has taken. I also feel blessed about the fact that I have them so close to me and they too have me, my husband and their very dear son-in-law and my two grown up children who they love so much. For Sagar and Apoorva Aaji and Bhai are like two pillars in their life.

Whatever good things I have in my life I owe them to my parents. I always pray God for their well being and peace. I firmly believe in listening to parents because they are always correct and have best intention for their children. Today, when I am playing a mother's role I go through so many disagreements with my growing children. But I have this hope that they will realise what I mean by saying something hard to them some day if not today.

My first baby step...

Aaha! I am excited!! This is my first baby step in the net world. And guess who is guiding and supporting me? My son Sagar...Thank you Sagar, I know that you will always remain with me and we are special mother son duo. So here I go to express myself...

I always had this passion towards writing. Basically I am a dreamgirl by birth because I just love dreaming. As a grew I realised that I had my own different and somewhat exceptional ways of looking at the things and beings around me. I also realised that I need to express myself to someone. Early marraige, full time bank job, and my nature of looking after every tiny thing of my two children, Sagar now aged 24 and apoorva aged 20 left no time for me even to talk about my beutiful inner world. And now suddenly at the age of 47 I am feeling more free, confident and raring to go...

Humm...it was great on the first day! Will visit again may be on sunday or any other holiday. Love you Sagar...